I’m scared of death. When ppl ask me what I most fear it’s that. I hate ppl who say I shouldn’t fear it cause its guaranteed to happen to everyone, well I don’t give a fuck the shits weird. You go through everyday doing things and there’s gonna be a day where you no longer can do it. There’s gonna be a day when you no longer wake up in bed or take a piss and that shit scares me. The thought of death just makes me instantly tear. I haven’t dealt with death in my life much. I lost a friend when I was 5 years old and I lost an uncle 3 years ago. Before I lost my uncle I lost my dog. Her name is Bell. She was the first birthday gift I ever received. I got her when I was one years old we were born the same year. She died 3 years ago of simple old age and I’ve missed her everyday since. As much as I’ve wanted a new dog I know I’ll never love one as much as I love bell. The fact that i haven’t truly experienced losing ppl made losing my dog hurt more because it was the first time someone important to me was gone. She fell asleep in her bed that was next to my bed and died peacefully in her sleep. I woke up that morning and saw it and just covered her in her little blanket. It was funny to me because the night before my grandma had decided she was gonna put her to sleep the next morning because she didn’t want any animals dying in her house and clearly bell had nothing for that lol. I’m glad she passed in her sleep, the thought of someone putting her to sleep pissed me off because she should go out on her own terms and she did just that. So here’s to the greatest a dog a boy could ever have ill always love you and ill prob end up with a honorary tattoo some day with your name. They say the cool thing about heaven is that you can see people you haven’t seen in a long time, well if that’s the case I hope when I get there you’re the first thing I see and I’m never letting you go.

R.I.P Bell.